A failure to communicate?


Someone I’ve known for quite some time said ( and I quote) “you know what i like about you?…you live in the moment.”
This was after I’d shared what could have been perceived as an intimate thought of feeling, with and about this particular someone. I laughed it off at that moment. I didn’t really think I was offended or hurt, but it just didn’t sit right in my spirit-man. A few days had passed and it never left my thoughts (which is my way). Then it started to bother me. Then it started to bother me, that it bothered me. So I sat down and really thought about it.
Do I live in the moment? What does that mean? I mean when I think of living in the moment, I think of someone who doesn’t have any responsibilities or someone who shirks their responsibilities. Well, I then became offended. How could someone who has known me for any length of time, think I was flighty? See because to me that’s what “in the moment” means. Not thinking beyond what’s in front of you. Doing whatever you like and screw the consequences. I was offended. Why? Because that is my great inability; to think only of that moment and not of its possibilities, good or bad. To think only of what’s in front of me, to let go and not be concerned with what “could” be. I want to be an “in the moment” person, but I am not.
VOILA! offended.
I wanted to call this someone and tell them to “take it back! I am not flighty!”. But, that’s not what was said.The word flighty was neither used nor implied (at least I don’t think it was implied, at least I hope it wasn’t). I’d taken what was said and applied my own meaning to it. Made a mountain out of a mole hill ( this too is my way).

So after all my thinking and pondering and worrying and just plain making shit up, I’ve decided to not be offended, to just stop. If I ever want to this someone to get to know me, I’ve got to stop assigning my personal meanings and thoughts to their every word. I am learning that we (we being humans) don’t all think alike. We don’t all take the same “logical leaps”. This is not a man/woman thing, it’s a human thing. Sure men and women have certain gender specific reactions to any given situation, but it’s all subjective. What I’m saying is no two people think exactly the same. When I heard the words, “in the moment” I immediately thought, ” flighty, carefree…careless”. I did not consider that “in the moment” could have meant “present and accounted for”…see?

Now, I have no idea what was truly meant by the someone in question, and I am relatively sure they have no idea I was bothered by that particular statement ( they are now 😉 ) I just know I did not want to go into a conversation with my offended self or my hurt feelings. I don’t want that. I want this someone to get to know me and learn who I am, just as much as I want to learn more about them. I am interested in that, very much.

Thanks for your time-


~ by Xenolinguist on May 27, 2011.

One Response to “A failure to communicate?”

  1. To me living in the moment means you can enjoy the moment in time to it’s fullest. It does not mean you have no thought for the future, or are “flighty” but it means you not only can see the forest for the trees, but you also have the ability to stop and smell the roses in that forest.

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